Answering My Blog’s Search Term Results Pt. 2

A year ago I compiled all the ridiculous search terms that led to my blog. WordPress is a lil rascal and won’t show me all the search terms unless I pay, but I’ve been able to pick out some pretty weird ones from what WordPress does show me from the past year. I decided to do another one of these posts because 1) it’s been half a year since I’ve posted anything and 4 months since I’ve written due to academia, so this is my way of easing back into the swing of blogging/writing, 2) I’m feeling rather sarcastic and random at the moment, so if you were expecting some sincere answers to search terms, keep reading because you’re not getting any. Onward!

tea in writing

Tea plays many roles in writing, from keeping us writers sane to being the object of a character’s consumption due to the writer’s inherent addiction to said hot leaf water. Tea stains or complete damage of manuscripts due to an accidental spilling of tea are also literal, concrete examples of tea in writing.

If you have something against your WIP (there’s a 97.8% chance that you do), purposely dump tea on any printed drafts you have. This is the way.

b90d99e7-bc05-4cf1-bb80-4bc151141f87
This was imminent.

how to get an isfp to talk about their feelings

My best advice? Leave them alone in any empty space, ideally furnished with a fireplace, a cozy armchair, and plenty of personal space; ensure there are no humans within a 50-feet radius of said ISFP. As long as no one’s around, your ISFP will talk about their feelings all day. Mind you, it might not be out loud.

hard being isfp

I was an ISFP at one point in time, and it is actually quite hard, believe me. Though an unprecedented switch to INTP has turned out to be no less difficult.

isfp hard to type

I doubt ISFPs find typing hard. In fact, I would be surprised to encounter any type who finds it hard to type in this day and age. I’m discovering more and more how strange such a situation would be even as I type this.

isfp disappearing act

The ISFP Disappearing Act was unanimously agreed upon during the last MBTI Type council. This allows all ISFPs to disappear at any given moment, regardless of who they’re around and what they’re doing.

bottle emotions

If anyone has found a way to successfully bottle emotions, please let me know. I’ve lost count of the bottles I own, so I should have enough for my emotions.

whats the meaning in trees twenty one likits

Thanks to Google Translate, likit is Turkish for liquid. … and that’s all I have to say about this one, so there’s a fun fact for you.

analysis of thank you next

It’s simple. Customer service associates have become proficient in expressing sincere gratitude to guests or customers for waiting in line for three and a half hours. It’s the skill of simultaneously expressing this gratitude and politely shooing you on your way by shouting NEXT for an entire full football stadium to hear that gives them the ability to generate such a pleasant atmosphere.

narniya 1 dance of the flames

First off, really? Narniya? Wow, that’s real cute. Just Y. Second, there’s evidence captured on camera of a particular flute that, when played, can charge nearby flames to take on the form of dancing nymphs, satyrs, nyads, dryads and centaurs––complete with realistic sound effects. Unfortunately this flute will never exist in this dimension.

clip art ruined house of mr. tumnus

I’m not going to google it to find out because I would be helping you and ruining my feelings, which is not a good combination.

how to have a writer aesthetic

Tea or coffee stains will happen without asking permission, just give it time. Broken pencils, disorganized notebooks, vascular pieces of deceased extraterrestrial lifeforms, and vials filled with the blood of your enemies are great as far as mere essentials go. I might also add the suggestion of a corkboard of apologetic letters to murdered characters justifying their deaths.

what do you call a character who is accidentally the villain

A precious child. A beautiful mistake. Also evidence that the writer probably likes improvising. I’ve developed characters who accidentally become the villain, and in fact, there’s one in my WIP. Shameless plug for Fiction’s Lie and my darling renegade protagonist! Coming soon to an Amazon.com near you in, say, five years at best! So yeah, soon!

kevin barnett comedian

Bamboozlement. How did someone even search this and land on my blog in the first place.

… moving on.

questions to ask your darling

“What is astral projection?”

“What’s the weather outside today?”

“What’s 100 to the 1000th power?” after which should follow

“Siri stop.”

how to write lyrics like tyler joseph

You could try, but I doubt you’d have a chance, even if you can sing screamo while aggressively playing ukelele.

what does bang mean in neon gravestones

I don’t think “bang” ever happened in Neon Gravestones, but if it did, the answer would be more self-explanatory. But let’s move on before this takes a dark, steep turn, shall we?

silently tree what mean

They’re … just … trees? Being quiet like trees usually are? Eh. I’m stumped. Unless you’re trying to pull a “Lucy Pevensie in Chapter 10 of ‘Prince Caspian'” on me. Sounds like something she’d say, just reworded big time.

antagonistic journaling

Basically everything you wanted to say in your incessant wrath but never did because you were afraid of the power your rage might release onto mankind.

questionsyou have about the characters or plot at this point

I have way too many questions. Like “who are you again,” “didn’t I kill you three chapters ago,” “do I seriously have to rewrite the entire book again,” “do we need a separate timeline or do we need a separate timeline,” “was this supposed to be sequential,” “do I really need this dimension” and the list goes on. Forever.

worth dying for antagonists

These characters do exist, and they’re usually known as anti-heros. Ask Disney. Or any other family/adventure movie done in the past decade. They know how to create antagonists that are more endearing than the protagonists.

what questioms to ask stidrn as they diafram plot

Before we get into this, let’s tackle the existence of the misspelled word “diaphragm” in this sentence and then go from there.

шарф по гарри поттеру крючком

The Russians have stalked the internet to discover my Harry Potter crochet pattern! We’ll start seeing some nice scarves on all the Durmstrang students.

veronica roth writing style

cc394c4eb3896686859e516a4b52058b

Because I don’t feel like ranting right now.

lyric gravestones heal the living there no use to the dead

If everyone alive could be healed by gravestones, not only would that be ironic but also we would have to seriously discuss the option of immortality and the sad possibility that Hades would get rather bored.

20 questions tea

Not even I have twenty questions about tea.

questions to ask yorself when trying to cone with a plot

Get a cone––I don’t care if it’s traffic or ice cream––and find a way to implement it in your plot. And then I’ll just sit here and laugh at you. Cone at me, bro.

what was the tea time treat in the lion the witch and the wardrobe

Hello Narnians, and welcome to the new cooking show Tumnus’s Tea Time Treats! Today we’ll be learning how to prepare the first mentioned treat in the scene Tea with Tumnus, sardines on toast! Oh––everyone’s getting up now. No, don’t leave yet! This one features that magic flute played by everyone’s favorite faun! …Aaaand they’re gone.

20 questions to ask to its character about a novel

I don’t think I could come up with one, much less 20, questions to ask one of my characters about my novel. If I tried, they would probably drag me up to a cliff and kick me off.

What they don’t know about is the cliffhanger I’ve prepared.

critique paper god is not death

I pray for the fate of whoever wrote a critique on the god of death. I’m just saying. Thanatos might move you to the top of his list.

what liking darth vader says about you

If you like Darth Vader, you most likely dream of force choking idiots in your sleep and blast the Imperial March while driving so that you can roll down the windows at the stoplights and drown out the rap blaring a few cars down. You probably have a thing for characters with much background and complexity (despite their awfully-scripted teenage years), black capes, and epic duels that begin with you marching out of nowhere to epic theme music. It’s also taken for granted that you find anyone with a lack of faith disturbing, because you say it a lot. You also might like Star Wars.

 

Now I do believe that’s quite enough nonsense for the time being. I do hope to publish more posts in the future––and ideally get better at sticking to a schedule next semester, which shall soon spring upon us. In all sincerity, I hope you had fun reading this because I certainly had fun writing it. Which ridiculous terms have people searched to end up on your blog? Drop ’em in the comments below and let’s continue to make fun of the Internet. Farewell, have a happy Christmas, and here’s to hoping 2020 will arrive as planned, with vision even greater than advertised! I have spoken.

8 thoughts on “Answering My Blog’s Search Term Results Pt. 2

    1. Glad you enjoyed it! I was cackling myself while typing. xD On WordPress, is you click stats and scroll down to search terms and click on it, you’ll see a bunch of terms people searched that resulted in your blog, which they clicked on from the search. If you have the free version WordPress won’t show every single term but they show enough for the purpose of this post!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: 20 Questions About Tea – Elza Kinde

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